As the resident idiot novice here at Garden Organic, where I’m surrounded by some of the keenest gardening experts around, I am here to represent all gardening newcomers.
I, Simon, am here to tell you that we newbies are one; in solidarity we shall give it a grow! Your compost-y triumphs and struggles shall be mine… Or something.
I invite you to come to me with your new-gardener issues. I won’t know the answers, I’ll barely understand the questions, but I do know, I’ll be able to find someone who does.
More importantly, you may rest assured that I’m here for you. I can and will investigate the answers to any question. I will do whatever it takes as we embark to become growers not showers. The flowers of our pots shall not wither, not on my watch; we shall encourage them to bloom along with our understanding… Or something.
That said; I feel I may be getting a little bit ahead of myself. When starting out growing you need to make some decisions. Firstly; I guess you need to decide what you want to grow. You’re all going to have your own methods to reach this decision; be that ease or what you want to eat at the end of it, etc. Personally, these are factors that interest me less.
As I’m going to have to blog about my experiences as a novice gardener there is only one factor that really concerns me, pun-a-bility. For all our sanities to remain intact I need to choose the unpunable.
So the tubers are out, as I feel that is one way to get to the root of this problem. Beans, to my palate, are far too unaPEAsing.
I would try and grow coriander and basil but I haven’t really got the thyme and as for rocket, although I’m sure growing it would be a blast, there are far more important things to think about.
Lettuce consider the salad, a veritable crop of punnery is possible, likewise, growing chillies would leave this blog peppered with awfulness.
Which leaves us courgettes or strawberries. Being of a sensitive disposition I would much prefer to grow a product that doesn’t leave me feeling somewhat emasculated; call me marrow-minded if you will.
So, strawberries it is. Which is lucky…as I think they are the tastiest out of the lot of them.
All that’s left for me to do now is to berry the seed… Or something.